Eager for the next

So, my little monkey is almost 4 months old. I am really trying to grasp the reality of the situation. I have kept him alive for a month without my mom. I feel soo proud of myself. Jokes apart and thank you for your blessings, he is also reaching his milestones.


Source: Cafepress.com

And now, doing what I do best in these blogs, give gyaan. I have realized how the mind is always living in the future (or sadly, sometimes in the past)

My monkey started with finding his hands and holding them. Then he inserted them in his mouth. I was so excited. I looked forward to the next. He started holding his left toe and I couldn’t wait for him to hold his both toes.

Now that he has started holding his both toes and is showing signs of inserting them in his mouth, I can’t wait for him to do so.

It is sooo silly and also difficult. Even though there is realization, there is … addiction to habit or.. don’t know what but the mind is always dancing. This sort of makes me realize the addiction someone gets to the game- candy crush. They keep telling you about what you have locked and what is in store.

Sigh, Here is to a meaningful and productive week. May we learn to be in the present.



My hubby had a deadline for submission of a research paper on Friday at 12 pm. My house was in tense mode since wednesday and he and the co researchers hardly slept since wednesday and from what I understand, they submitted it with just few minutes to spare. On top of it, it seems that there still is some scope for improvement. Maybe it is true when they say that if it wasn’t for deadlines, no work would get done. I wonder why it is so and if we know that we work towards a goal, why can’t we set our own personal goals and deadlines? image

Is it that we don’t take ourselves seriously. Is it that we don’t know of our capabilities and capacities? Or is it that we keep things pending till the last minute to add some thrill or challenge to our life?

I hope that I never have to live under the pressure of deadlines. I hope I am able to work effectively and efficiently. After leaving corporate life, I have found a few things I like and none of them make me tensed. It is so sad that many people go from one deadline to next. Isn’t life meant to be enjoyed?

Just ranting. Did any of it make sense ?

also, just saying … What a weird name it is… dead – line


So, I also like Ranbir Kapoor now. There, I said it. After being an admirer of Aamir Khan from my childhood and recent one of Salman …. Now I adore the movies that Ranbir is in. After posting “how to be effective and productive” some well wishers must have surely prayed for me and my baby as he is sleeping without me for sometime and that’s giving me time to do a little it of my stuff. So, when I got a little time, I watched 2 of Ranbir’s movies. I don’t really know why but I like “ye jawani hai deewani” as much as I do because I rarely like to watch a movie I have already seen but there is something that I can connect with…maybe the character of Naina.. I sort of connect with her as though I wasn’t as studious as she was, I was more shy and self conscious than her. Also, a part of me, like everyone that wants to travel and see the world like Ranbir’s character but on the other hand, I like to stay in the comfort of my home. My cousin who came to see the baby from Denver wanted to go visit NYC but I said a form no. There are too many hassles with a small baby and I didn’t want to deal with them. The earlier me would have probably said yes or … I don’t know  … I always complain that my hubby doesn’t take me out much but a very very small part of me doesn’t want to leave her comfort zone sometimes and doesn’t take much action after the complaining and blaming.

So anyway, the movie – it is so sad that we always want to be someone else. I don’t know what changed me but I know that I would see other girls in school and wish I could be confident like them. When I was in college, I don’t know when I started becoming good at giving presentations in front of people and graphology helped me understand a lot about myself too and made me this nice person. Once I became as much confident as I wanted to be, there was always something else that I wanted to and still want to change. In a way it is natural to evolve and work upon oneself but am sure not all my wishes are for my spiritual evolution. Maybe it is my lack of self confidence that makes me want to be like other people.

So, my baby got up at this time and I couldn’t really complete what I wanted to say and have lost the track of time but I guess I have realized that it is better to be and accept myself. It requires a lot of courage, self esteem, self love in being just that all the time. And if you find people who are ok and like you for this…Great and if you are able to like them too.. Life becomes wonderful!

Any thoughts or experiences?