I don’t know why I made this page – Maybe just as a way to record the changes I feel with each passing day or maybe to know if others are feeling this too.
I am writing my diary for as long as I can remember. It was and still is private. I used to record my few daily activities and some thoughts and feelings. I don’t know the reason but my mom didn’t give me a pen. I didn’t want to use a pencil, so I found a refill somewhere and used to write with it. This is all I remember. I don’t know why I started the blog but I wanted to share. I started copying the beautiful mails I used to receive as forwards until a friend told me that I should write what I feel.
I was a teenager and I wrote about my college life, my rantings and made my blog a tool to vent out.
Slowly, As I have grown, I can see that the blog has matured too. I write about my thoughts.. and many other things. I get an urge to put it in my blog and I do. (I still don’t know how to define or tell someone what I write about as I just write.) I know of a few people who have left reading my blog because it became too spiritual or boring. Anyway, I know that I am evolving as a person and the blog is a reflection of that.
Before my marriage, I was doing fairly well as a graphologist. Many people didn’t believe in graphology and though most of my time was consumed by marketing and follow ups, life as a handwriting analyst was fun. Because of my caring mom, I didn’t even look at the kitchen let alone cook anything and was able to give time to http://artwithsunayna.wordpress.com/ too. I had a desire to write but somehow didn’t take myself very seriously or above https://mannkiwindow.wordpress.com/.
After marriage, I learnt cooking and decided to concentrate on my house and stopped all marketing for http://sos4graphology.com/. There were few clients now and then and I liked things as they were. I was able to spend time with volunteer work and it felt right.
Something inside me made me write and before I know it..I became a part of 2 anthologies and have half a dozen poems published. I feel delighted to see my name in the magazines and it feels ‘wow’. Easy and fast. Though I don’t think of myself as a writer… I enjoy writing and simply love being published.
Writing gives me a sense of lightness. A sense of peace that one can feel after a purpose being filled.
I remember nearing the end of my 3rd short story. I could feel the excitement and eagerness of it all. I also realized the effort it can take to write, especially if you want to involve a concept you don’t know about. For me, its sports. The amount of research I had done is almost equal to the time it took me to write.
As I started my fourth short story, I realized that all I need to do is start. Until I begin, I wonder what to write. Once I start, the situation, the responses come on their own. Feeling so silly to have wasted my time whiling away and wondering what the situation could be.
Write, and it becomes!
As I completed and submitted my 4th short story, I realized that there are many people besides the writer who help in forming the characters and situations. They help the writer correct the story and make it logical. They read and immediately write a page full of goof ups they found in the story.
Sadly they all cannot be made co authors and there is no suitable platform to honour them other than the heart. I am very very thankful to such people.
I know, I for one need
- Someone to tell me that there is a call for submissions
- Someone for moral support.
- a corrector of grammar and helps with making sentences easier to understand.
- Someone to help me make it logical and tell me that I didn’t write how they got in the bus or help me clear such loopholes
- someone who is Ok to read it every time I change it and think that it is perfect or need some appreciation.
- Someone who can help you shape it. Like what will they do in the rickshaw. or what is the best way to make them eat.. etc.
It is tough 😦
Today I feel that I am a diamond in the rough just waiting to be discovered. Or I am completely disillusioned. Completely!