Lost friends

I have lost some 2 close special friendships last year. I couldn’t do anything about it. It was their decision and I really didn’t have a say. This feeling really hurts. There is no statement that could define my hurt. I am actually speechless about the whole thing.

Though I have made some new friends and honestly never felt hollow without them in the real sense but yes, have missed them, missed talking to them, missed sharing and celebrating life missed caring for them and missed being cared for.

Though the last year was very special when it comes to relationships and I think I have honestly celebrated life, but I don’t think anyone can replace another human being. I realised today that one of my friend has honestly moved on and she has found some new friends. I have gone through stages of anger to indifference to the whole thing to hurt to revenge to explanations to cute stuff to everything I could think of, but it doesn’t work that way I think. I don’t know how it works. Sad thing is that I have truly tried to save my friendship with them.

Probably some things are meant to be and I shouldn’t even bother wasting my time thinking about them and continue my merriment with the ones I have but I also secretly hope that they still visit my blog and read this and …

:(

I used to think that whatever is online is going to stay there forever till I tried to find my blog. I had written a blog about my experience of my ngo. When I got extremely bust with my work, I stopped visiting it regularly and didn’t have much to write. Now that I have become regular again, the writer in me is wanting to express itself but I can’t find my blog.

I don’t want to start a new one. I know it was either touchonelife or getting better each day or something. I know there was the word peacock, dinosaur and about my team members. But I still can’t find my blog. I even searched in the meta search engines.

: ( any ideas.