What I would have advised myself as a teenager

This post is dedicated to Vinita and Piyush Kundnani, my teenage cousins who got me in the mood to write on this page finally.

Vinita asked me how to get good marks in exams and though my clever hubby replied “By studying” and we ended up laughing over it, I come from a different opinion. This post is gender biased, so if you think men and women are equal and should get equal opportunities everywhere, then maybe this post really isn’t for you. (or is it? you decide)

What I would have advised myself as a teenager

Teen age or the age between childhood and adulthood is the only time you have when you can think for yourself and are free from many responsibilities like cooking and earning. Its like being an adult without having the duties and responsibilities. Utilize this time very well.

  1. Do not study for marks. Exams should be dealt with seriousness but it should not be special. It should be like any other day provided u study for sometime daily. Do not stop eating, meditating and all the other wonderful activities you do. Exams shouldn’t raise your blood pressure. Once you get a job, no one cares if you got the second rank or fifth.
  2. Do no watch silly TV. I feel that I have wasted time with HIMYM and some silly movies and sitcoms that were a complete waste. Watch wonderful movies instead. Watch different movies from different genres. I have seen some very interesting and thought provoking  french,  marathi and bengali cinema besides bollywood and hollywood. I plan to make a list of all the wonderful movies I have watched and upload it here in some days.
  3. You will have to choose your career as a teenager. It is a difficult task but do not worry. You can always change it, I did and it worked out brilliantly. Choose something that you really want to do. Lock yourself in a room and ponder. Don’t listen to any one except you but that also increases your responsibility of choosing. Speak to people who you know are working in that field, speak to them, visit the college where you would study. Sit and try to get the feel of that place.
  4. Broaden your horizons. Take up every opportunity you get to meet new people or visit new places.Visit museums, exhibitions, art gallery and the works.
  5. Read. Please read good books. Don’t waste time with useless books though. I wish parents could guide kids on reading and watching movies but sadly most parents are busy with their jobs and are not actually living either. Get in touch with your teachers and read a book a month if not weekly.
  6. Meditate. Try to understand yourself. Accept yourself. Love yourself. This is the only way you can love others.
  7. Serve the needy. Its the most beautiful experience in life.
  8. Don’t crib about time. ever! Make most of it. Don’t waste time on crying, jealousy, regrets etc. Live your life. Spread joy and love.
  9. Spend lots of time with your parents and grandparents. Understand them and you will understand your past and be able to make peace with it. Don’t let it trouble your present ever.
  10. Learn 1 new language 1 new somethings of many things each year. Karate, dancing, music, art won’t go waste. Open your mind to new things. Remember, a mind once stretched, cannot come back to its original size. Keep expanding.
  11. Eat healthy. Eat what you want but build a very good and strong body as this is possibly the only time u can. Exercise they say for sometime. Please do. I started late but thankfully I did. You do too.
  12. On love (suggested by Vishal Anam) My love was in bangalore while I was a teen so there was no chance of meeting him and I didn’t think about marriage or love or marriage till I was in late teens but I think that the generation now is definitely more advanced and ideally, I would have really liked to meet the person I was to marry when I was 2 yrs old but thats for some other life maybe. or maybe it doesn’t matter now. So if I were to advise teenagers about love, I would say to guard your precious heart for the right person. One thing I have learned is that you do marry the person you are meant to. So chill and don’t waste time on experiments. Let your first love be your last and only love. You may thank me for this one day. But by all means make amazing friends!
  13. On perspective towards social media? (suggested by Vishal Anam) I don’t know how to disregard blogging and FB. I met my school friends after so many years on FB. and I discovered I could write via Blogging. So, my attitude to the social media is that of discipline. Limit yourself to an hour a day and see how beautiful life is otherwise. You get to utilize your time only once, utilize it well.
  14. Don’t hurry up with the growing. Enjoy!

Well, thats about it, they say that we shouldn’t change the past as it has got us where we are today. I don’t quite agree. If given an opportunity, I would like to change it and see where I can be. Till then, I hope this helps you!

Keeeep smiling!


PS – I don’t disregard education completely. I am a double post graduate and my education has made me what I am today, I just hope u study with fun and not with the pressure of passing

5 thoughts on “What I would have advised myself as a teenager

  1. hi,sunayna,its very fantastic and mind blowing for my son I wana ask.Hw to explain him he is in 6th std nw.but sometimes he feels lonely bcoz he is d only son n after hardworking also he got less remarks hw i improve his studying n feelings.he is 2 gud in arts also den also he got c grade in art.

    • Dearest vidya,
      Thank you for writing. I am not sure if I have any authority in replying or advising, I am writing whatever is coming to my heart.

      Have you checked with the teacher? If you really believe in your child and think that he deserves better, then try speaking to the teacher once. Do it in front of him. I think it is the most practical and ego boosting idea for your kid. 

      Before this, also please realize that you too need to calm down too.  He is too young to see the repercussions of the exams. If you are feeling it is low and are worried, then he must be feeling so. If you can talk to him and explain that you understand that these marks will not at all matter in next exams then maybe he will feel better.
      If he is really really really very upset, try suggesting to learn the concepts again. Maybe it will help. Please keep us updated.  
      Having said this, I would request the experienced readers to help my friend vidya if they can.

  2. delighted to read this blog. :-)).
    as I grew up under a strict supervision of parents I knew I m a kid till I start earning. :-))).
    I heard this word ‘teenagers’ after coming this big city when a child of age 13 told me “you take care of kids only I m a teenager”.I was shocked the teenagers r not in children category.
    even I m surprised now remembering this.
    so…. my suggestion is for parents to give ur child freedom to think, to elaborate, to explore, let it be failure but it will help them to know themselves better.

    • Yes dear Rashi,

      Freedom to think…I had read someplace, best thing that we can do for our kids is to give them roots and wings.


  3. vidya ji,
    I just want to say its gud that u believes in ur son that he is gud that is enough. marks and grade should not be criteria. keep believe in him. he knows the subject and he gets good marks has difference and u should proud he comes in right side.
    thank you

Pls Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s