Fake disease names

i found this on online (yahoo answers)

someone has asked to name some fake diseases, and following are the replies

– Sorry, but due to my Sasafrassic Cancer.. I can’t come out to play to day!

– Opticalrectalitis – It’s where you don’t seeyourass doing something. Like calling into work with it. (sorry I have opticalrectolitis………I don’t see myass coming to work today)

– Ever since that guy got Buttmunchism, he has been unable to be nice.

– the only one I can think of is the one that my children are currently suffering from- Schoolitis. they are sick and miserable only on school days

– Haha! I have one for my cat. When she gets fleas in the summer time I call it her fleabitus. I get a lot of laughs from it.

Example

Posted 24-06-2008 at 11:26 PM by sunayna
Updated 24-06-2008 at 11:31 PM by sunayna
I honestly did not see this coming. i have known big and respected people suffer from this but i never thought that something like this could happen to me. probably my ego is huge, but now i have to admit, i am suffering from a block.. i will have to come up with a prefix for that other than writer as i don’t think i am a writer yet.
so instead of calling it “the writers block”, i think i will have to call it something else. Any suggestions?

Anyway, some of you might not believe me, so here is something i thought of writing some days back…but my net wasn’t working. i had to get the thought out of my system, so i told my sis. she didn’t react much except an expression which clearly showed that she thought i was hopeless now.

I was obviously disturbed by this, so i shared it with a friend. She simply laughed.

so here is the thought which i had initially thought of writing (Finally)

Well, i bought a big umbrella… the long one which is in fashion now (no, am not a fashion victim) I simply wanted it.
Wanted it for reasons of my own.

anyway, after getting it, i wanted to walk with support… like old people do…
but somehow i couldn’t
i thought it was because i am young..so i don’t feel the need…hence am unable to take support.
i still kept trying.

CASE 1 – now if at this point u too are wondering y…i think i have got your attention and i haven’t turned as blocked as i had imagined

CASE 2 – if u are still reading because u expect something funny to come up…then you may go back now…as the reason is very silly and u have been reading with interest only because of my last posts…and after reading till the end…i may disappoint u.

CASE 3 – and if you stopped reading long time back, then….
well….
…..
hmmmm….
err…..

ummm
…..
…..
i think ..
that i am right….

ok..coming to the point
i can’t walk with my umbrella as old people because i walk fast.
so by the time i keep an umbrella on the ground, i am already passing that point…
so it doesn’t work

i think it is funny and silly. but most people i spoke to about this, didn’t.

now if u are case 1, and a regular reader, then i am sure u will comment back.

If u belong to case 2, i am sure u will agree and for sure reply

if u belong to case 3…and i get no comments… then well..I’ll get the message. and i will stop writing till i find something goooood enough.

hahahaha…if u are one of those who don’t comment after reading… and are tired of my taunts and pleads to get you to comment…
then this post is the baap of all pleads and taunts..

Total Comments 8

Comments

Old
Pray tell me….why on Earth do you need the Umbrella’s support to walk??

Anyways try tapping the ground a little to the side rather than in front of you…It might work……another solution is to wait another 50 years!!

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Posted 27-06-2008 at 03:28 AM by maverick_m1981 maverick_m1981 is offline

Old
wait for some yrs n then use use umbrella!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Posted 27-06-2008 at 11:37 AM by arineelavia arineelavia is offline

Old
try ambling like the oldies do…bend your knees a bit, slump ur shoulders a li’l, or do something even sillier, be your normal self, just walk slower
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Posted 28-06-2008 at 06:57 PM by sandeep126 sandeep126 is offline

Old
Quote:
Pray tell me….why on Earth do you need the Umbrella’s support to walk??

You didn’t tell me that u were reading shakespeare. i thought u were reading archie comics.

i don’t need support to walk re baba.. i just wanted to walk in that way.
don’t ask y.

Quote:
Anyways try tapping the ground a little to the side rather than in front of you…It might work……another solution is to wait another 50 years!!

well…side mein karne jaaon toh by the time i tap it, i will be 12-15 feet ahead of my tap.
won’t work at all na.

i am not the gladdest person on earth right now with the 3 responses , but not the saddest either.
i was expecting no responses… looks like i am not as bas as i feared.

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Posted 29-06-2008 at 06:16 PM by sunayna sunayna is online now

Old
You are quite good; as are most of the people who have posted comments on your blog. It is refreshing to see correct and optimum usage of feelings as well as language.
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Posted 18-07-2008 at 03:06 PM by Dipali Golwala Dipali Golwala is offline

Old
Oops…forgot to mention that I’m just probably about 20 minutes old on this site; maube my enthusiasm shall wane in a few days too 🙂
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Posted 18-07-2008 at 03:07 PM by Dipali Golwala Dipali Golwala is offline

Old
Quote:
You are quite good; as are most of the people who have posted comments on your blog.

Quote:
It is refreshing to see correct and optimum usage of feelings as well as language.

thnkoo
do u belong to the quality team?

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Posted 20-07-2008 at 11:46 PM by sunayna sunayna is online now

Old
Quote:
Oops…forgot to mention that I’m just probably about 20 minutes old on this site; maube my enthusiasm shall wane in a few days too 🙂

hope to see u again

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Posted 20-07-2008 at 11:47 PM by sunayna sunayna is online now

Sunday … where art thou!!!

my last Sunday was beautiful. the weather was awesome. i know that people hate gloomy weather. my mom hates it without the sun. As far as i am concerned. i love it. i love a dull day. the trees look pretty…its slightly foggy and very very pleasant.
There is this thought that scares me though. in the book “Veronica decides to die” Mari always loved dull days as it made nature feel in sync with nature. OOOPPS

Anyway, i got up at 715 without an alarm clock. i am sure i was destined to meet this friend for the walk. He was as usual late…i know if he is reading this, he is saying to himself – ur watch is ahead of time and that isn’t my fault.

i went for my walk to this beautiful park which is barely 15 mins away from my place. we had lots to catch up on. and the weather was simply perfect. we sat on the swing, gossiped a little and made plans which we knew would not get implemented in the near future.

my sis kept teasing that people go around 530 or 6 in the morning for walks. i told her that this was my morning walk…my Sunday morning walk and i could do it at anytime i wanted…as long as i did it in the morning.
i came back home at 1000. i will have to agree, a morning walk that ends at 1000 in the morning is a little weird, even for someone like me

walking made me hungry. i had 2 yummy uttapama and watched a santa movie. i think i am growing old, as i almost fell asleep watching a christmas movie. my friend called up soon after this and well …

i decided to sleep for good after that and next thing i knew, i got up at 545. all relaxed, i read the paper (i like STOI), visited my aunt, saw news and well…spent the sunday…beautifully.

so why am i writing about my beautiful sunday today?
because i am missing it like … s i g h

Kahlil Gibran

For those who know my reading habits, know that I am strongly against buying books. I have no money to spend nor do I have the place to keep it. I like my method of books finding me…rather than me going hunting for them. I let the book find me, and this works out well for me.
In college, I wanted to read “fountain head” because everyone I knew, had read it, but the book was always issued. I asked the librarian to let me know the minute it comes in but this did not work out. Almost after 2 and half yrs in college, I issued a lot of books but fountain head never came by. One fine day, I asked the librarian if there was some luck with it. She said that the book is under maintenance and a brand new book had come just some minutes ago. I was on top of the world, she stuck the necessary papers stamped here and there and I had a brand new copy of fountain head for me.
This happened again when I wanted to read “To kill a mocking bird”. In my library again, we (librarian and me) were searching for the book but couldn’t find it, and out of nowhere a good friend of mine came and told me that she is carrying the book in her bag.
So, I believe that books find me.
“Mister God this is anna”, I hadn’t heard about it but it fell on my lap literally when I wanted to remove some other book. The book is just amazing and I believe it found me.

I never believe in buying books. One friend told me that she buys a book because there is a bond formed while reading. So every time she looks at the book, she can feel the bond.
Another friend believes in buying books so he can exchange them with friends and read more books.
Another friend finds comfort in knowing that he has more than 500 books with him. He actually re-reads them at 3 in the night if he feels like it.

I don’t re-read books. I don’t have the time. There are sooo many books to read just once. I don’t get the point but for the first time in my life, I have found an exception. I have bought a book. I issued Kahlil Gibran’s omnibus from my local library almost a month ago but I can’t get enough of it. If someone tells me that they bought kahlil gibran’s omnibus, I would completely understand it. Every word in that book is like a tiny pearl of wisdom. That book demands to be read very slowly and not just once. Every statement has layers of meaning hidden that you might not get from reading it just once and I think that the meaning changes as you grow in life.

Kahlil Gibran is a book I can’t wait to grow old with.

food for thought..blog entry on meow.

If your stress levels at work, home and with relationships are consistent, and if your conflicts with the one person who brings out the beast in you, have a consistent tenor and pitch for over some years, then chances are, you are programmed. You are not really responding, rather a program that’s got deeply etched into your system is running automatically and you are identifying yourself with this program. In fact most of the times when you catch yourself reacting typically for a given situation time and again like a stuck record, these are not at all your natural responses, but they’re one of any number of programs that surreptitiously got into your system and are operating as proxies.

Our intellect has been used overtime in practically all the areas of our lives , except the one purpose for what it was really meant for. Not knowing this purpose, creates a loophole for more virus programs to enter into our system. As one great author said, if you’re living a life “as though you’ll never die and die as though you’ve never lived”, then rest assured that almost your entire life is run by these proxy programs and you’ve not realized your true potential yet. That you’re not aware of these duplicate virus programs remote-controlling your life, is what the wise call, “ignorance” or “sleeping with your eyes wide open”.

How do you kill this virus ? The best vaccine to kill it is, simply recognizing its presence. But the biggest obstruction in recognizing its presence, is your staunch refusal to believe that you could be fooled so completely by something which is a non-resident program. What makes it tough for the vaccine to kill this virus is, your genuine stamp that nothing is wrong with your thinking. This creates a “no entry” for the vaccine to operate, no matter how brilliant. The second big obstruction is that, this virus program is polymorphic (changes its form to suit different situations) making its detection fool-proof in keeping you fooled. The moment you start feeling its presence and try to stop feeding it thru your own set of vaccines, it immediately “senses” your awareness of its presence and simply changes its code to camouflage its presence to fit into your vaccine program, giving you a look and feel as though your vaccine is now working and you’re rid of the virus. It lies dormant for a while bidding its time and you actually experience some peace and a raised awareness of your self – well, for how long ? just till the next provocation when you explode, exposing the fragility of your vaccine.

All our attempts in the functional world , no matter how well intended and genuine, in terms of attending spiritual discourses or doing different forms of yogic practices to realize the truth and attain freedom from our limitedness, may take us close to recognizing the presence of this virus, but its polymorphic design is so powerful that the moment it recognizes a threat to its existence it simply converts these vaccine programs as “ReadMe.txt” files rather than “.exe” executable files. Meaning, this knowledge has to be lived, only then are you actually treating the disease and not just the symptoms and letting the execution of the vaccine program happen, which can result in the cloud moving away from your vision or culmination or flowering of all that you listened from the masters. But just how the virus ingeniously tricks us, is by making us believe that simply doing physical, mental or energy practices and maintaining the body well or listening to discourses even by great masters, it lets us “feel good” for some time and simply keeps this knowledge in memory making us intellectualize the whole thing and fooling us into believing that as long as this knowledge is in memory you’ve realized the truth or are almost there. Well, how long does this “realization” last ? Till the next setback or “why me” attack.

This knowledge needs to be internalized and lived, only then can transformation happen. The virus simply brings in changes and fools you into believing that these are transformations. And the greatest laboratory to practice, is facing what life brings, head on without running away from it, responding to the good, bad and the ugly situations while examining your responses minutely. But our pattern of thinking has become so conditioned (across lifetimes), that the need to shift our thinking or orientation to a higher frequency and the fact that the power to do it is within us – is obscured. This is the cloud. It is crucial that to examine your response you need to observe your response which is possible only if you witness your mind. Only when you do this, the fact that you can respond differently to a typical situation might come as a surprise. This realization that “I can respond differently”, throws open a wider range to choose from and this gives space and brings in maturity because this “different response” is your response and this is possible only when you’re fully in the present looking at reality (without any past programs running simultaneously) , and in doing so you’re actually disabling the automated proxy program from deciding for you. This maturity is the very door to objectify the external which in turn brings in strength, and courage because now you know that the good, bad and ugly situations are not me but external to me and I simply need to respond to them in the best way I can with whatever resources I have and leave the result alone. Leaving the result alone is a readiness to “accept the hidden variables of life and what I cannot change”. The more we practice this with awareness, the more we’re looking at the world the way it is (reality) and not the way we want it to be (past conditioning or future worries or fantasies).

All virus programs which have been remote-controlling your life, live and thrive only in a conditioned mind, hence they’re called non-resident programs. The more I look at the world the way it is, the more I respond from a sense of choice and not react from past hurt or insecurity and the more I free my mind of its conditioning, the more I’m in charge of my life and the more my happiness does not depend on external situations.

Stationery

They say, women and machines don’t mix. i don’t know how true this is in my case, as the only thing I can’t do on my comp is to remove my monitor or mouse wire while my comp is still ON

I wonder if its the same with stationery. well, i was in office and i asked for white ink. i got this pen and i didn’t know wt quite to do with it. so i … well…i tried….

i pushed its top, i pressed the middle, i tried squeezing …nothing worked.

after 5 mins…and a few scratches on the paper later i went to the person who gave me the pen and told her that i don’t really know how to use it. AGM IT was standing there and took the pen from me and twisted the hell out of it and … Bingo!!!
it was some experience…
AGM teaching an Exec abt using white ink pen

not really embarrasing but something close to it.

well..i went back to me seat but it just didn’t work when i bent it.

i don’t understand or like this hi tech stationery.
i prefer the bottle with a brush. whats the use of this pen???

Award

Proxi award

Proxi award

i got this award from vini – she happens to be a very very very close friend of mine.

here is the award page

Apparently who ever receives the award is to pass it on to 8 friends. I know how busy most are, especially this time of year, so I won’t be upset if you can’t do it.Also this was sent along saying that “Blogs that receive this award are ‘exceeding charming,’ says its author. This blog invests and believes in the PROXIMITY-nearness in space, time and relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement! Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this clever-written text into the body of their award.
i don’t read blogs
few of mr friends who do, normally send me links of posts they think i might find fun to read and that’s about it.
so i don’t know what to do with this award. i am still shocked. i didn’t see this coming.
vini suggested that i ask readers of my blog (if there are any) to come and suggest .
so..got nothing to lose.
let me know whom u think should get this award.